be early or else you're late
Over the weekend, I went to a family reunion with my mother.
Her side of the family, my mother’s mother’s family, has a thing about punctuality.
They don’t just want to be on time, they want to be early.
Extra, extra early.
In fact, if you’re right on time, you’re late.
The Time Game
We arrived to the party 33 minutes early.
And, there were 5 people already there.
You see, at this particular gathering, if you’re the last one to arrive, you are in charge of the next reunion.
And, that’s a big job nobody wants to do.
It means putting out all the family emails, reserving a restaurant, getting rsvps, collecting money, and coordinating the games.
And, maybe even worse than putting on the next reunion,
If you show up last, you get laughed at by everyone already there.
Because, everyone knows they are safe and you are the fools that have to put on the next reunion.
My Sister's Last Straw
Possibly one of the last straws before my sister filed for divorce was that her husband didn’t understand the time game.
She kept insisting they leave their house immediately to go to that reunion and he kept procrastinating with this and that last minute to do.
They arrived right on time, which of course means they were the laughing stock who had to put on the next reunion.
Maybe they got the last laugh though, because they were in such discord, they never did put on that reunion.
And, eventually after a couple years my mom had to do it.
My Mom's Habit Is Mine
This "be early or else you’re late" idea sunk into my brain by way of my mother.
She and I are both people who like to be at the airport a full 2 hours before our flight, even though we have TSA precheck and can speed through the lines.
We like to be at doctor’s appointments, lunch dates, and every other meeting 10-15 minutes early, just to make sure we aren’t late.
Just the idea of being late makes us anxious.
The main difference between me and my mom is that I never really know what time she wants to leave the house for any given appointment.
Because, it’s anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes before the actual time she says to leave.
I, on the other hand, taught my kids that we’ve got our shoes on, we’re locking the front door and heading to the car exactly at the time I say to leave.
My In-laws
This caught me off guard one time when I was at my in-laws.
I said, Let’s leave at 10 o'clock.
So, at that time, I expected to walk out the door.
But, for them, Let’s leave at 10 o'clock meant
It’s time to go to the bathroom and look for my purse and grab a sweater and find the right shoes.
I forget that my words don’t mean the same thing to every person.
How Things Work
And, this is how most of the way we live works.
Our parents act a certain way and we think that’s the normal way to act.
We might tweak it a little here and there,
Then we put it into the back of our minds as “This is the way to do it”,
This is how it’s done.
We forget that everyone else doesn’t do it that same way.
And we get annoyed when they don’t.
The same words don’t mean the same thing to each person.
The same actions don’t mean the same thing.
Everyone has their own point of view, largely depending on how they were brought up.
What habits have you acquired from your parents and passed down to your children?
And, what habits do your parents have that you vow never, ever to pass down to your children?
I’ve got some of each.
I’m here whenever you need to chat.
Bye annoying habits!
xoxo Lani
