from the earth to the sea
Yesterday my mom and I picked up my dad’s ashes.
I didn’t know if I should bring her, but she wanted to go.
She brought a treasured quilted bag that my Auntie sewed.
It’s a special bag made to carry the urn, she said.
The Cemetery
There’s the children’s area over there, I pointed out to my mom in the cemetery.
That’s where the newborns and one or two year olds are buried.
See the dates on the headstones.
Why aren’t they with their parents? my mom asked.
I have no idea.
I need to photocopy your ID and have you sign right here, the mortician said.
Just in case another sibling comes in and says, Where did daddy go?
I laughed. Neither of my siblings would ever come here, I thought.
Walking back to the car with the urn, we saw the 3 chimneys from the 3 crematoriums.
See the heat waves coming off of 2 of them? I asked my mom.
Reminds me of Auschwitz, she replied.
I’m thankful there wasn’t a black cloud of smoke coming out of the chimney
like the last time I was here.
When I had to rush out of the way so the soot wouldn’t fall on me.
My mom can’t rush, with her cane and her one semi-good eye.
Her other eye is blind, so she wears a patch over it like a pirate.
And, pirates are notorious slowpokes.
The Ocean
When I die, sprinkle our ashes together into the ocean, my mom says.
Yes, I’ll do that.
The oceans around Hawaii are just beautiful.
This morning I went swimming in the ocean just before sunrise.
As I was paddling around I saw 2 rainbows in different areas of the sky.
This is the most beautiful place.
How lucky am I.
I have the best life ever.
Your Choice
I often re-decide that I have the best life ever.
Because sometimes I forget.
And, when I remember, I believe it’s true.
Did you know that you can decide at any moment
what you want to think about your life?
Because what you think and what you feel have little to do with
the actual circumstances going on around you.
You can always find something positive to think about,
something worthwhile to focus on.
That reminds me of one of my favorite books
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
It’s his memoir about surviving 4 Nazi deathcamps, including Auschwitz.
Frankl argues that we all go through suffering.
That’s just how life goes.
But, we can choose how to cope with our circumstances.
We can find meaning and purpose in our life, no matter what is going on around us.
From The Earth To The Sea
When I got home from my swim this morning, I danced around my mother’s apartment to the song I chose as this podcast theme song.
It’s called From the Earth to the Sea.
I think it’s a fitting song, knowing the people I love and care for will all go from the earth to the sea. And, so will I.
I danced and danced to the same song a dozen times.
Remembering my dad, remembering the rainbows, and remembering I have the best life ever.
Remember the rainbows,
xoxo Lani
