how to have the best life ever
Today is my birthday.
Today I’m 60 years old.
And you’re in luck, because today I’m going to give you 6 of the lessons I live by.
One for each decade of my life.
Because I truly have the best life a person could ask for.
#1. Take care of your own health first
Because your health is the most precious and important thing you’ve got.
And, I’m talking about both your mental and physical health.
There were 2 times in my life when I really had to let everything else go to focus on my own health.
The first time is when I was getting daily panic attacks.
I talked about this in episode 15. 3 Frightening Symptoms of Chronic Stress
I had 3 small children at the time. The youngest, my daughter, was only in pre-school.
But, I gave up helping the older kids with their homework.
I gave up cooking dinner and let them, even the pre-schooler, scrounge around and raid the refrigerator for whatever they could find.
I only gave myself one job. Fix myself. Take care of myself.
And, that was a big enough order to take up all my time.
Remember, you are no good to yourself or anyone else if you don’t have your health.
The second time I let everything else go is when I came down with rheumatoid arthritis.
At the time, I was stressed out taking care of my parent’s affairs.
But, I knew what I had to do.
I immediately stopped fixating on them and turned the focus to myself.
Who cares about homework? Who cares about family feuds?
Who’s going to remember these things or think they’re important in 5 or 10 years?
No one. Because nothing is as important in the long run as your wellbeing.
Don’t wait for a crisis. Put yourself #1 always. You deserve it.
#2. Don’t hold grudges
Because grudges only hurt you. The other person has no idea what you’re thinking.
Stewing about things, staying irritated, carrying around the idea that they’re wrong
Doesn’t do anything but bother you.
Accept that people don’t always act the way you want them to or the way you would act.
That’s totally ok. Not a problem.
Their actions don’t really have anything to do with you at all.
It’s all about them.
That girl that used to point at me in high school and call me “HK” (which I found out later meant hairy knuckles. Haha). Well, that’s her problem. She must have been jealous or something.
That time my mom tried to kick me off as her trustee because I wouldn’t sell my brother her house for a steal? No problem. She was under pressure. She couldn’t help it.
That time I yelled at my sister to "Go home to your stupid family!”
I’m so glad she didn’t hold a grudge against me.
Because we all do and say things that we wish we never said.
(By the way, sorry sis, I didn’t know how crazy your husband was at the time.
I hope your divorce goes through soon.)
Anyway, be sure not to hold a grudge against yourself either.
Practice self-compassion and self-love.
Two of the best practices you can have.
#3. You can’t fail
One of the many jobs I’ve had in this lifetime is that I used to be an elementary school science teacher.
And, the big event that I coordinated was the science fair.
Now, I’m a real weirdo because I just love the science fair.
Let me tell you how it works.
You think of an experiment. Then you conduct the experiment using the scientific method.
The beauty of the scientific method is that you can’t fail.
Either your experiment worked as you thought it would.
Or you learned some things to take forward into your next experiment.
Try and learn. Try and learn.
Never failing. Get it?
Everything you do in life is just an experiment.
It either worked or you learned something helpful for next time.
Remember that and go out and get after your big audacious goals.
Not for any other reason than it’s your chance to learn and grow and expand your comfort zone,
Which is a beautiful thing.
Because, you can’t fail.
#4 Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses
Don’t go after money and material possessions in the pursuit of happiness.
Stop comparing what you have to what other people have.
What’s the use of doing that?
Happiness doesn’t come from things.
Validation doesn’t come from other people.
It comes from the feeling you have about yourself.
And, contrary to popular belief, having material possessions or a high social standing does not equate to feeling good about yourself.
I’ve known poor people who are as happy as can be.
And, rich people who can’t stand their lives.
Feeling good about yourself is done by living your values, believing in yourself, and loving the life you have.
It’s created inside of you, not by outside possessions.
My husband and I have always said, We’re rich in love.
Even when we were 2 broke college kids.
Being happy creates a rich life. Not the other way around.
#5. Do what’s hard
You know what?
The harder something is to do, the more gratification you get from it once you achieve it.
In fact, you can get gratification just by trying, just by attempting to do something beyond your current capabilities.
When I was 50, my sister asked me to run a marathon. I had never run in my life.
I thought it over for 2 weeks. Then said yes and got to work.
The first week I couldn’t even run down my block, which happened to be only 2 houses past mine!
But, over the next 3 months I just said, This is what I’m going to do. This is what I want.
I had setbacks. I got injuries. I was doubtful.
There was a lot of sweat and pain involved.
But, crossing that finish line after 6 hours and 37 minutes was hands down the proudest moment of my life.
And, no one can ever take that away from me.
Go after the hard thing. You won’t regret it.
#6. Love your life
Find joy in the everyday.
My husband and I have a ritual.
Every night he cooks us a bowl of vegetable soup for dinner.
Each time it’s very similar to the night before.
But, I always say, This is awesome. This is the best soup ever. Thank you.
And, we believe it. And, we love the soup.
And, we love each other.
And, he says the soup is never the same when I’m not home to share it with him.
This is how to love your life.
This is living your best life ever.
I hope you take these 6 lessons to heart.
Because we only have one life.
If you had the best life ever, what would it feel like?
Imagine that right now. Then keep that feeling in your heart.
Enjoy your best life.
xoxo Lani
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Email me at [email protected]
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